Just eat your tea
Being so thankful for food and not turning my garden into an allotment I realise I also have my kids here. I LOVE having my children with me. In the war they got posted away like a parcel with a suitcase and label and no lego or internet. Just thinking of that makes me hold them closer, they are here and not being sent away to protect them from the virus. The exact opposite in fact, we are all staying at home and not leaving the house. However, having them here does mean we have to eat a lot of food and seem to be glued to the dining table with a constant factory line of cooking, eating, cleaning up, with small bouts of playing in-between.
Now we are quietly attempting lunchtime and I have got bored of telling them to eat their food. Can Alexa just repeat my voice over and over saying this? I don’t have one so wouldn’t know. 5 attempts at getting them to eat food, I left my computer open on the table, live action blogging here we go. As T is deployed (of course) my computer is now my dinnertime conversation.
1. Whoeever finishes first gets a chocolate bar
“Oh ok” that got one spoon into one of them. 99 to go. I have reminded them of the chocolate bar at stake and that got one more in. Then I went to find them one to show them for an incentive. In the carrot verse stick method, I am going carrot here. Ironically I’m trying to get them to eat shepherds pie including carrot so carrots doing work. Its pudding verse ???. Sending them outside? They will throw that back in my face that they’ve already been outside once already. Before restarting the “just eat your food ” monotony, I disappear to get a penguin hidden down the back of a cupboard, this may have been “lost in transit” (to my tummy) so I had to find another one. Thankfully there is a small unopened Christmas chocolate in the back of the cupboard. The children have meanwhile started a discussion on golfballs (? Not sure why, I’ve missed the start and none of us play golf) however the chocolate bar lays forgotten and no further food was eaten. One chocolate bar wasn’t enough but at least they are all now sat at the table rather than under it.
2. Chocolate bar races
Chocolate bar has now been broken into 3 pieces and it is racing towards each child with each mouthful. Hurrah. One child still in inconsolable sobbing, due to hunger and I am getting bored and wondering when I’ll need to start tea.
3. Here comes the aeroplane
In an attempt to not shout (again) we are now trying here comes the aeroplane, complete with zoom noises and going into a hanger. Nope, not even with an aeroplane shaped spoon. Uping the game to its Chase from Paw Patrol on a Mission and he needs to rescue the Major from the well. Carrying on with each character from paw patrol. The Major is really stuck in the well. This isn’t working today. Thankfully I am writing this so just taking a pause before I go into the next round. Meanwhile child is next to me crying, refusing to eat. The others and a tiny piece of chocolate is moving slowly some sort of success leads me to return to the ring for a full house of clean plates.
4. Once upon a time
There was a little girl and she had some magic soup. When she ate it… cue opening your mouth. Child didn’t get the cue and pursed their lips shut tightly as well as doing that head swingy movement that means food starts getting sprinkled all over the place as they avoid contact like 2 fighter planes swirly the skies. I guess the spoon was a plane earlier so I might have started it. Look what happens when you eat the magic spoon… clinging onto rabbit suddenly he talks! Well this is a very magic spoon of food you’ve got. Let’s see if it happens again! & it did. Then we had to ring everyone up and show various relatives. The relatives were all just as amazed. Plates where rapidly cleaning and I almost forgot the fuss at the start, as well as the fact nearly and hour of time has passed. Does this count as mindfulness? I’m so focussed on getting my children to eat I have literally lost track of time. Child has given up now releasing its just Mummy making the rabbit Hello sounds and we haven’t actually rang anyone. We are so close, I’m not giving up now!
5. 5 More spoons
Entering the final negotiation period of spoons and we are on the home straight. The tiny piece of chocolate that hasn’t moved for the whole story session is suddenly 3 jumps away from being eaten.
SUCCESS!! A meal time complete and we did it. Even if I now have to start tea. The children are recharged and jumping wildly on the sofas. Perhaps we should leave our daily exercise until after lunch?
Tea time I had a list of all these methods and children had already created new tactics of eating avoidance. Cue method 6: child has turned invisible & only by eating food can I see them again. (Thank you, Possum Magic storybook from Australia, for this idea.)